"I was pissing by the door when I heard a shat."

Bluesscale Soatn's first bluessong!

2006-01-23T11:25:00.000-08:00

I think everybody will remember my first song ever? You know...that song that sounded like a spaghetti of carpentry sounds? Well, let's say that if nobody would mention that again, I would be eternally grateful. So shut your traps about that song. OKAY??? HEY I AM NOT KIDDING! REALLY!!! WHAT SONG??? I DON'T KNOW ANY SPANISH SOUNDING SONG!!!

Please judge this humble, novice blues guitarist with some fair and honest criticism! And I know that I made a couple of mistakes, but hey, cut me some slack, okay? And maybe people should know to that I only play guitar for about 9 months! And by the way listen to the rythm, pretty good, hey, and I am talking to "some people" who are accusing me from not being able to play in a steady rythm. I played the background guitar and recorded it (I invented the background shuffle myself). Then while listening I recorded my improvisation and mixed it (in only half an hour.) JUDGE ME!!!

Soatie Hendrix' Granny...

2006-01-09T10:18:00.000-08:00

Soatie Hendrix is back after a month of blog silence with an exciting story:

Last Sunday I went to my grandmother. She lives in a retirement home. Oh boy, when we go there (once a year for the money with New Year) it's always a crazy adventure with loads and loads of breathtaking stories. It would take too long to tell the entire afternoon, so I am only gonna tell about the highlights.

When we entered the retirement home, I immediately saw that lots of these oldies know how to entertain people. When they saw we entered, they all started acting like they are retarded. Oh man, some of them were hilarious, they were drooling on themselves like. They looked with these staring eyes at us, like they could drop dead any second. Some even had shit their pants to let it look real. Man, if there's one thing I have learnt about old people, that afternoon, it is that they have a great sense for humour. I even found it a bit over the top sometimes...They were pushing it a bit, when they refused to stop the imitation (It was a bit disrespectful, I thought towards the retarded people) but what the hell, they are even more absurd than we youngsters, apparently! So I winked an eye to the oldies, to show my appreciation for their acting talents and their little comical act and continued my way to my grandmother's room.

We entered the room and saw our grandmother sitting there. She immediately came towards us and she allowed us - it was about to be our lucky day, I had felt it from the beginning - to kiss her on her cheeck. That's really fun! You have to make a game from it, man. The one who can kiss her without kissing that big, hairy wart on her cheek has to buy the other one a drink. Then she's always saying: "Are you,kids playing the 'Avoid-kissing-the-hairy-wart-game' again?" and she starts laughing "you crazy, kids"."Here's your New Year money, but only look at it at home how much it is!" Of course I looked at it immediately because I knew I was about to get 70 euros. I looked and like I said 65 euros...WHAT???? 65 EUROS???? My aunt had promissed I would get 70 euros when I gave her 10 euros for grandmother's present (And what to they buy for her? Underwear...What does she need underwear for? For shitting in it? We had better bought her some diapers, like all old people wear. But, I know granny, she's just to modern to wear diapers.) I synically laughed at my grandmother and said hesitatingly "Thank you". I DEMAND MY FREAKIN' 5 EUROS GODDAMMIT!!!! She's old, what to they need money for?

But after a while my anger was floating away, when I heard the exciting conversation between her and my dad.

Dad: "We always drank beer when we were playing cards!"
Granny: "No we weren't, we drank water, always water!"
Dad: "Really?"
Granny: "Of course, you idiot. But I like limonade now. But I can't drink it because of the sugar in my legs"
Dad: "Yes, mother"
Soatie Hendrix: "Oh granny, you're so hilarious...hahahaha...limonade...hihihihi"

And granny continued: "Hihihihihihi, yes, yes, I know. But you know what happened today?"
Soatie Hendrix, Dr. Angay and Dad: "NO?" with an excited voice.
Granny: "They gave us steak today!"
Soatie Hendrix: "So?" not understanding the clue.
Granny: "Oh, Soatie...you know Sunday is pork chop day, hihihihihi!"
Soatie Hendrix: "Oh, right, oh, granny, you gotta stop this, man...hahahahahahahaaaa...you're killing me...hahahahahahaa, so funny...hihihihi...it hurts....hihihi..."

And then she told us the exciting story about a mysterious woman called Maria.
Granny: "You know Maria?"
Soatie, Angay: "No"
Dad: "fifteen"
Granny: "fifteen what?"
Dad: "What do you mean fifteen? I said FIFteen!!!"
Soatie: "Oh shut your trap, dad, granny was telling an exciting story".
Dad:"No, FIFteen, not Spain, Soatie!"

I slapped him in the face and granny continued

Granny: "Well this Maria. She's dead of cancer. Yup, yup...only 92 years old. She had a café until 1972, then she retired. Oh no, no, I am lying, it was 1973! Yes, yes. And her brother was a carpenter. He died in 1987 als because of cancer. They say...Oh no, it was 1986...I remember because our guitargod Soatie was born in that year...They say God cursed their family, because they hadn't went to church in 1956 at christmas..."
Soatie: "Oh, man, that's a creepy story, granny! But...oh no, it's time to go home already, but can I blow the candles out from the chappel, please??? I am big enough now to do that, right?"
Granny: "Hmmm,...I don't know, it's a pretty big responsability, Soatie!"
Soatie: "Please!"
Granny: "Oh okay, but be careful"
Soatie: "Oh, you're the best granny in the world" (except for those 5 euros, cheap bitch)
I ran to the chappel, blew the candles out, and we left. At the exit were those same old, crazy funny oldies, imitating retarded people. "You guys rock, man" I said. "You should have been actors, well, see ya all next year!!!!"

Man, a retirement home really is the funniest place in the world! Boy I had the afternoon of my life!

AN OMEN!

2005-12-04T10:16:00.000-08:00

A couple of days ago, I asked a fellow blogger, Patt who can draw like Da Vinci, to draw a picture of me with my guitar in a bluesy way. And you see the magnificant result above. But check out what I discovered. I went buying a cd like I do every week, but I bought the Jacques Brel dvd I was whining about the whole week. But I always want a cd too, so I looked around. And suddenly I thought about Django Reinhardt. I had seen him in a program about the 100 biggest Belgians ever (you know the thing about Jacques Brel, he ended seventh fucking hell, but he was very poorly defended by his godfather - that's how they call their defenders. Johan Verminnen, we will get even when I meet you goddammit ) So I bought a cd about Django Reinhardt. But then I thought about my cartoon. And you must admit; the resemblance is amazingly big. Now you should know that he's one of the biggest jazz guitarists ever. This must be an omen! I am about to be one of the biggest guitar players ever!

Patt, please draw me!

2005-11-30T11:53:00.000-08:00

Patt, I am the brother of dr. Angay. I'm really impressed with your drawing skills. Could you draw me? I'm a blues fan, could you draw me as a blues artist, in the style you drew my brother. A bluesy atmosphere in a smokey bar would be great! Use your imagination!

I would be eternally grateful!

Soatn

Jacques Brel AMSTERDAM 1964

2005-11-24T11:57:00.000-08:00

This song goes about the life of sailors in Amsterdam. It's an extremely beautiful text, because he really uses words ands terms which suit the common people...Jacques Brel for greatest Belgian.

Dans le port d'Amsterdam (In the harbor of Amsterdam)
Y a des marins qui chantent (There are sailors who sing)
Les rêves qui les hantent (The dreams that haunt them)
Au large d'Amsterdam (Through Amsterdam)
Dans le port d'Amsterdam (In the harbor of Amsterdam)
Y a des marins qui dorment (There are sailors who sleep)
Comme des oriflammes (Like streamers)
Le long des berges mornes (along the dull banks)

Dans le port d'Amsterdam (In the harbor of Amsterdam)
Y a des marins qui meurent (There are sailors who die)
Pleins de bière et de drames (full of beer and of dramas)
Aux premières lueurs (In the first gleams)
Mais dans le port d'Amsterdam (But in the harbor of Amsterdam)
Y a des marins qui naissent (There are sailors who are born)
Dans la chaleur épaisse (In the thick heat)
Des langueurs océanes (of the languishing oceans)
Dans le port d'Amsterdam (In the harbor of Amsterdam)
Y a des marins qui mangent (There are sailors who eat)
Sur des nappes trop blanches (On tablecloths too white)
Des poissons ruisselants (Streaming fishes)
Ils vous montrent des dents (They show you teeth)
A croquer la fortune (To crunch fortune)
A décroisser la lune (To cross the moon)
A bouffer des haubans (To eat main ropes)
Et ça sent la morue (And that smells like cod)
Jusque dans le coeur des frites (Until in the heart of the French fries)
Que leurs grosses mains invitent (That their big hands invite)
A revenir en plus (To return moreover)
Puis se lèvent en riant (Than gets up laughing)
Dans un bruit de tempête (In a noise of storm)
Referment leur braguette (Close again their fly)
Et sortent en rotant (And leave while turning)

Dans le port d'Amsterdam (In the harbor of Amsterdam)
Y a des marins qui dansent (There are sailors who dance)
En se frottant la panse (While rubbing himself the paunch)
Sur la panse des femmes (On the paunch of the women)
Et ils tournent et ils dansent (And they turn and they dance)
Comme des soleils crachés (Like spit suns)
Dans le son déchiré (In the torn sound)
D'un accordéon rance (Of a rancid accordeon)
Ils se tordent le cou (They twist the neck)
Pour mieux s'entendre rire (So they could better hear themselves laugh)
Jusqu'à ce que tout à coup (Until suddenly)
L'accordéon expire (The accordeon breaths his last breath)
Alors le geste grave (Than the serious gesture)
Alors le regard fier (Than the proud look)
Ils ramènent leur batave (They take their Batavian(= a dutch women or man))
Jusqu'en pleine lumière (In the bright light)

Dans le port d'Amsterdam (In the harbor of Amsterdam)
Y a des marins qui boivent (There are sailors who drink)
Et qui boivent et reboivent (And drink and drink again)
Et qui reboivent encore (And drink even more)
Ils boivent à la santé (They drink on their health)
Des putains d'Amsterdam (On the hookers of Amsterdam)
De Hambourg ou d'ailleurs (Of Hamburg or somewhere else)
Enfin ils boivent aux dames (Finally they drink on the ladies)
Qui leur donnent leur joli corps (Who give them their beautiful body)
Qui leur donnent leur vertu (Who give them their virtue)
Pour une pièce en or (For a piece of gold)
Et quand ils ont bien bu (And when they have drinked enough)
Se plantent le nez au ciel (They put their nose in the sky)
Se mouchent dans les étoiles (Rub their noses in the stars)
Et ils pissent comme je pleure (And they piss like I cry)
Sur les femmes infidèles (On the unfaithful women)

Dans le port d'Amsterdam (In the harbor of Amsterdam)
Dans le port d'Amsterdam. (In the harbor of Amsterdam)

My best friend!

2005-11-11T12:30:00.000-08:00

I promised my best friend Ward to go to our school reunion at Saturday. We are like best friends but I broke my promise and now I am feeling like a complete jurk! The last couple of days I was sick (today it got even a bit worse again), so I am a bit exhausted. But I have to admit that I didn't felt like going neither, because I think/know some of my fellow students have become real elitist assholes. But not Ward, no siree. He didn't change. In class he would always fake that he gave me a blowjob, and then he would come up with his head, wiping the imaginal semen of his face, and then we saw the teacher looking at us, with this strange "WATH-THE-FUCK-ARE-YOU-GUYS-DOING-look" Or we would put pubic hair in peoples hair...Oh my god, that was really hilarious! We could laugh like little children when the teachers were reading a text where some words could be taken in a sexual manner. But at the end almost every word was taken sexually by us, so soon we were known as sexists. He was also my colleague socialist buddy, and in the third grade my hiphophomy (yes, that's right, during one year I was a hiphopper, now I know all music is wonderful). Boy, oh boy, we did some great stuff. He was my best friend in class during 4 years, we would always sleep together on school trips. Sometimes we really did sleep together in the same bed. It always began as an absurd joke, but then he insisted on sleeping in my bed. We had some good talks then. He is also a great soccer player. He's almost playing in the Premier League. That's Belgium's highest level. But I think he's still on the bench now of a Premier League team. But still...If you have ever seen me playing soccer, you would understand why I am so impressed. Yes, yes, that's my friend. And I dissed him like a bitch...I'am on a highway to hell. But I 'll make it up with him, with a beer next time I see him in a pub (we don't see eachother alot, because he's still studying). WARD I AM SO SORRY! People don't judge me, I had a bad childhood. Please tell me I am not a bad person...

Red Right Nose: Some people take themself too seriously!

2005-11-11T03:39:00.000-08:00

WAAAAAAYYYY TOO SERIOUSLY
(no jokes about the right, I have got two noses)

I AM GETTING PROMOTED!

2005-11-10T12:05:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I got another lesson in being humble.
I was leaving the parking lot at work and drove up the street on my way home. It was getting dark and everybody was longing for home. I never say anything at work, and nobody of my colleagues really knows how to react when they see me, should they say HEY, or just nod. Because I almost never reply. Except my boss always says hey. So he's the only one I nod back to.
Now to continue my story, I was driving and suddenly I saw my vice-boss flicker his lights and surprised as I am, I raise my hand hesitatively. Now you should know, that I normally had to be fired a month ago, but I am still working there, so my boss must be content with my work, and honestly I am one of the most hardworking bitches out there... So I thought if the vice-boss says suddenly 'hey' after a year of ignoring me (have to admit, because of me, but still), I'll probably can stay there and I'll get a steady job. But there's not enough work at the marketing service, so I'll probably get another more important job, because they are so thrilled about my discipline and working spirit. I continued dreaming about my future company car and my exuberant salary, when suddenly I began to notice that every car that came towards me started flickering with their lights. That was the moment, I saw my big lights were on (I don't know how to say in English, but I mean those lights that blind you if you look in it) Well I could say that I felt like a complete moron and that I was glad that I still had my lousy job for a bit longer...From next week on, no more saying hello. If you see me, you'd better not nod, or I'll kick you in the jewelries.

Soatie Hendrix goes Pulp Fiction (I even learnt trumpet)

2005-11-07T12:18:00.000-08:00

Miserlou by Soatie Hendrix.

A shameful confession...

2005-11-07T11:16:00.000-08:00

This morning I discovered in an old closet in our attic some old photograph albums from my family. I thought it would be cool to browse a little through these pictures, until I came up with these pictures above...Adolf Hitler is my grandfather. These pictures were taken when he was about my age...I am really upset about it. Why can't I have once ancestors and family to be proud of. But I can't change history neither, so I'll have to learn to live with it. But now I understand lots of things that were a mistery to me when I was young. When I came home from school my mum was often dancing in Lederhosen and with a Tiroler Hut on (you know those typical German clothes?). And when I became older, my nose grew bigger too and then she would always yell at me "JUDE, JUDE!". Then me and my brother would look at her like a dog on a sick cow (that's a Flemish expression), and when she saw us doing this, she just looked rappidly away and continued swapping the floor, like she was busted doing something bad. Yes, it all makes sense to me now! Like that time I had to learn history in primary school. Remembering all those names of dead people were a hard job for me, being a small kid. So I said up a list so that I could remember them. And every time I said Adolf Hitler, my mother would stand up with a stretched arm screaming "HEIL HITLER". And again we looked at her as if she was becoming a lunatic. I'am doing my exercices she then said and started to stretch her legs, and started running where she stood. Yeah right, fitness MY ASS!And when I became a left commy socialist, she was totally disappointed and she kicked me out of her house, like I said, it makes all sense to me now!

La Cathedrale (Jacques Brel)

2005-11-05T02:10:00.000-08:00

Jacques Brel (LA CATHÉDRALE) (translation was much work and lots of the magical lyrics go lost, some beautiful french words just aren't translatable. But I did my best. But the next song will probably with less profession language in it.)

Prenez une cathédrale
Et offrez-lui quelques mâts
Un beaupré, de vastes cales
Des haubans et halebas
Prenez une cathédrale
Haute en ciel et large au ventre
Une cathédrale à tendre
De clinfoc et de grand-voiles
Prenez une cathédrale
De Picardie ou de Flandre
Une cathédrale à vendre
Par des prêtres sans étoile
Cette cathédrale en pierre
Qui sera débondieurisée
Traînez-la à travers prés
Jusqu'où vient fleurir la mer
Hissez la toile en riant
Et filez sur l'Angleterre

L'Angleterre est douce à voir
Du haut d'une cathédrale
Même si le thé fait pleuvoir
Quelqu'ennui sur les escales
Les Cornouailles sont à prendre
Quand elles accouchent du jour
Et qu'on flotte entre le tendre
Entre le tendre et l'amour
Prenez une cathédrale
Et offrez-lui quelques mâts
Un beaupré, de vastes cales
Mais ne vous réveillez pas
Filez toutes voiles dehors
Et ho hisse les matelots
A chasser les cachalots
Qui vous mèneront aux açores
Puis Madère avec ses filles
Canarian et l'Océan
Qui vous poussera en riant
En riant jusqu'aux Antilles
Prenez une cathédrale
Hissez le petit pavois
Et faites chanter les voiles
Mais ne vous réveillez pas

Putain, les Antilles sont belles
Elles vous croquent sous la dent
On se coucherait bien sur elles
Mais repartez de l'avant
Car toutes cloches en branle-bas
Votre cathédrale se voile
Transpercera le canal
Le canal de Panama
Prenez une cathédrale
De Picardie ou d'Artois
Partez cueillir les étoiles
Mais ne vous réveillez pas

Et voici le Pacifique
Longue houle qui roule au vent
Et ronronne sa musique
Jusqu'aux îles droit devant
Et que l'on vous veuille absoudre
Si là-bas bien plus qu'ailleurs
Vous tendez de vous dissoudre
Entre les fleurs et les fleurs
Prenez une cathédrale
Hissez le petit pavois
Et faites chanter les voiles
Mais ne vous réveillez pas
Prenez une cathédrale
De Picardie ou d'Artois
Partez pêcher les étoiles
Mais ne vous réveillez pas
Cette cathédrale est en pierre
Traînez-la à travers bois
Jusqu'où vient fleurir la mer
Mais ne vous réveillez pas
Mais ne vous réveillez pas.

Translation:

Take a cathedral
Offer him some masts
A bowsprit of vast holds
Ropes and halebas (?)
Take a cathedral
High in the sky and large with the stomach
A cathedral tending
clinfoc (?) and mainsails
Take a cathedral
From Picardie or from Flanders
A cathedral for sale
By priests without star
This cathedral out of stone
That will be flodded
Pull it
Until where the sea begins to flourish
Pull up the star while laughing
And go to England
England is sweet to see
From high above on a cathedral
Even if the tea makes rain
Some trouble on the stopovers
The Cournouailles are to be taken
When they give birth to the day
And they float between the tending
Between extending and love
Take a cathedral
Offer him some masts
A bowsprit of vast holds
But doesn't wake you up
Hoist the sails outside
And the sailors hoist high
For chasing the whales
Who'll take you to the Azores
Then Madeira with their daughters
Canarian and the Ocean
who'll push you
while laughing
Take a cathedral
Hoist the small masthead flags
And make the sails sing
But doesn't wake you up
Prostitute, the Antilles are beautiful
They crush you under the tooth
People sleep good there
But return in avance
Because all bells in swing-low
You're cathedral sets his sails out
Pierce throught the canal
Canal of Panama
Take a cathedral
from Picardie or from Artois
Go ceise the stars
But doesn't wake you up
And here the Pacific
Long swell that rolls to the wind
And hums its music
To the isles right in front
And that they want to exonerate you
When there more then somewhere else
Tends to dissolve you
Between the flowers
Take a cathedral
Hoist the small masthead flags
And make the sails sing
But doesn't wake you up
Take a cathedral
from Picardie or Artois
Go fish for the stars
But doesn't wake you up
This cathedrale is out of stone
Pull it to wood
where the see begins to flourish
But doesn't wake you up
But doesn't wake you up

Jacques Brel for greatest Belgian!

2005-11-03T11:45:00.000-08:00

Like in many other countries we're ellecting the greatest person ever from our nation. I think we should have chosen a politician, but there isn't a real politician in the final top ten. So I am choosing for Jacques Brel. He is in the final top ten. The winner will probably be one of the greatest cyclists ever, Eddy Merckx, but I think a person should be dead before he can be the greatest person ever of a nation and Brel is more important to me.

I like blues, metal, rock, but I can honestly say that only Jacques Brel can truely make me cry, laugh, feel good or think about life by making music. He's the only person to me of the "French chanson" that doesn't sing about how much he loves someone (he also does this, but not in a mellow, mooshy way and from another perspective), but he sings about the small things of life. Coming old, going the school, the war (he lived from +- 1928-1978, I don't know it by hart). If you understand French, you can see what for a big poet he is. He doesn't only sing his lyrics, but he's also telling the lyrics by playing with his voice. This morning I was listening to my Jacques Brel cd in the car and he touched me once again. No other artist ever did the same. It's the most expensive cd I ever bought, I think it was 40 euros, but it's worht it. If I listen to Metallica or Panthera, I feel like rocking, but that's it. Jacques Brel makes me think about life, he can make someone feel glad to be alive although life is full with sadness and evil, but that's part of life. He also said he was Flemish, although he spoke French, but he was Flemish for me, because he loved Flanders and he was actually Flemish, but he spoke French (many songs are about Flanders) Jacques Brel is my greatest Belgian ever. I'm gonna let you hear a couple of songs on my blog.

"Euh...Soatn...euh, you don't get...euh... money for being showed on a post card...sorry"

2005-11-02T12:14:00.000-08:00

(I have some serious explaining to do at work!)

I am rich!!!!!

2005-10-31T03:57:00.000-08:00

My mum send me a post card from the region she lives in, in Southern France. And I can conclude only one thing out of it. I AM A RICH MAN! Her house (with the red circle around) is on the post card. This means that she gets some money from the copyrights, right? Lets say they sell about 30.000 of these cards in a year for 2.50 euros and she gets 1 euro for her share in the copyrights. (It's the most beautiful and original house in the picture, so she should have a bigger share, right?) So that's 30.000 euros a year. In ten year that's 300.000 euros. But there wil be probably other post cards from this village so, lets say 7 different cards, that's euh...2.100.000 euros. I know what I am gonna do Wednesday. I am going to my work and piss on the desk of my colleagues...I am quitting my job. I am about to enjoy life now, no more work for me...No, siree

REALLY! I DID!!!

2005-10-30T09:48:00.000-08:00

Wrote my first song!

2005-10-30T09:21:00.000-08:00

(Angus Soatn)

I wrote my first guitar song. Keep in mind that I play only for 5-6 months now and that I never had any music lessons in my childhood. So be a bit mild in your judgement. It isn't a definite version of course. It's a bit trial and error, especially in the beginning (it's a bit boring), where there should be rylics or something, but it's the thing I would like to work with. My friend, Yves (pronounce Eve) recorded and edited the song, I wrote and played it. I wrote it als in only a couple of hours, so keep that in mind but be honest and judge me like you never judged someone before! Here's the link: http://media.putfile.com/hall64 (but it can take a minute before it starts to play)

Ps: the genre of the song isn't my favorite genre of music (I am more of blues or a ccr kinda guy, but I like metal too though)

My mums dogs and house in South France

2005-10-22T04:05:00.000-07:00

My mother called me on my job, after having nothing heared from her for a year and a couple of months. She also wrote us a letter with a couple of pictures. That's her house in the Languedoc (almost the French Pyrenees). Me and my bro worked our nuts of on that house. It was a real ruin when we bought it. Even the last time we were there. But she left with her new friend to France to finish the house (after she kicked us out of her house, that "mother"). And I must say, she has done a pretty good job. The big dog is a Belgian dog. I already know him from 1.5 years ago. But my mum bought her a dog for her own in France because Bouzikman (the big dog) is too...euh...big to hug. So she bought herself that cute little French dog with such cute long ears, they remind me of a "zjéèmvel"(that's West-Flemish for a yellow/orange cleaning cloth, I don't think there's an English word for it) (and yes I am a major dog fanatic). Her name is Lafayette. She looks so French. Put such a French hat, a baret on her head and she'll start saying "Bonjourrrrr, everrrrybodyee. Je suis une Frrrrrrench dogue, Lafayette! Mwouhahahahaha" But still, my mum kicked us together with our dog out. Kelly was her name (the labrador). So at first I was mad when I heard my mum got herself a new dog. But like the picture says, Kelly is the best dog ever and she rules! More than Lassy, Skippy and Flipper together...So no thousands French dogs can destroy my love for Kelly (however Kelly always loved the one who brought her the most food, she was a real bitch).

SAW MY BROTHER NAKED!!!

2005-10-21T08:38:00.000-07:00

Stupid blogger!

2005-10-15T11:04:00.000-07:00

I saved the blog entry beneath my "Hang-over, the sequal post" as a draft, and when I post it, it stands beneath the one I published earlier. STUPID BLOGGER! Now I have to say there's a new entry and that's so big ego like...

I'll never learn...

2005-10-15T04:51:00.000-07:00

It isn't funny, but certainly worth reading (soatiehendrix goes serious...)

2005-10-14T08:26:00.000-07:00

This has to get of my chest. I have been working for a year now. But now my contract is about to end, so I have to look around for another job. But how strange that it might sound, I am glad about it. When I went to high school (and to university, but that was rather a blitzcarreer of 3 weeks) I was mostly surrounded by people with the same ideas and ideologies as me. But like I said, I (had to, because of personal reasons - I mention this because my bro thinks you guys would think that he forbid me to, if I didn't mention it) quit university and went working as a marketing assistent and got surrounded by (mostly) superficial colleagues. I never talk(ed) to them. I always shut my mouth and observe(d) them. So I am gonna write my frustration on this blog, because Friday was the final straw...
Everybody was complaining about our country in the most over-simplified way possible. The gouvernment is taking all our money, the foreigners our jobs and they are mad because they have to work for 35-40 years...
Well let me say this (as a socialist):
1) It's not like that, when our gouvernment needs money, that they can enrich themselves with that money. (Most politicians in my country can earn much more in private companies than in politics)
2) Second of all, when they need money and they want us to pay taxes and work for 40 years, it's because we have to secure our social security system that is the best in the world(together with Scandinavian countries)! My dad is disabled and can't go to work for 20 years now. The state payed every month a relative large amount of money. Because of this we could have a relative luxurous life. We pay a lot of taxes (3rd most in Europe or the world) but we get a lot in return for it. I am glad that I can pay my dues back, and if I ever need it...
3) There is a problem with foreigners, but there's also a problem with autochthonals. And what work do they take? Work that we think of, that it's too filthy. I just think that the dialogue is stuck because there's just too much prejudical (if that's a word) hate.
I admit there are problems and I don't like our prime minister and his party neither (But I also have to be honest and mention that the socialists are also in this government, but still...). I was born in the 5th best country, what life condition is concerned. Lets say that every country has 20 million citizens in this top 5 (and it is something like it, I think). That means 100 million people. That's 1.6% of the world population. So 1.6% has a better life standard, but 98.4% has a worse life standard. (In the assumption that the Belgians aren't included of course, otherwise it would be 1.4% or something) And I am even living in the richer part of my country (the south is relativily poor). Why do those idiots of colleagues think they have the right to say the government would better spent there money to them, in stead of to victims of earthquakes or wars. (they literally said this) And one hour later I heard them say that they go on holiday to Turkey or Spain no mather what, because the weather in Belgium makes them depressed. And they have to buy the most expensive, trendy clothes ever. I don't want to sound like some idealistic hippy, I know there are problems, but please, see it in the right perspective...Just think about it.

PS: 25% OF THE FLEMISH PEOPLE (Flanders = north of my country, I am flemish) VOTES ON A PARTY, THAT HAS BEEN CONDEMNED FOR RACISM...(it's almost the biggest party of Flanders.)

WORLDSHOCKING NEWS...

2005-10-13T10:44:00.000-07:00

...I just learnt my first complete guitar solo. You don't care? Well, I do, and it's my blog, so I can write whatever I want!!! I only play for 5 months now and I already play the solo from whisky in the jar (Thin Lizzy version). I have to admit that the very last part aint that great...yet, but I learnt it in only 2 evenings. The only problem is...if someone wants to hear it, I sometimes start to freak out, and then I screw it up, because I am coming all nervous from that "come-on-I-have-very-high-expectations-look" So you must sneak up on me and eavesdrop on me, if you want my good version, or be with me for half an hour, so that I forget that you're there. Anyhow, I am a natural...

T.V., stop offensing my intelligence!!!!

2005-10-06T11:47:00.000-07:00

I am deceived and mislead by my best friend...television. It was cheating on me for all these years. I was watching this program, that I have been looking at since my childhood...SAMSON. Samson is the dog in the picture. (don't mind the title, it's Dutch) I was watching this program, when suddenly my brains were shouting at me: WAKE UP, this program is insulting your intelligence!!!!!
Samson is a talking dog (that's right a talking dog) and he gets involved in many marvellous adventures. The story went like this, when I watched that particular day: Circus is in town and everybody is thrilled about it. A friend (the nerdish looking man with the glasses next to Samson) of Samson and Gert (Gert is Samson's friend, the man without the glasses above Samson in the picture) is playing with walkietalkies. Suddenly there's a camel in front of Samson and Gert's house. "Oh no, what should we do now?" Of course, the camel had escaped from the circus. "We have to take care of him. Lets give him some food. And in the meanwhile we'll continue playing with the walkie talkies." But suddenly one walkie talkie gets lost, and when they speak in it, they hear the camel talk...What happened?Huh?Huh? Oh no the camel ate the walkie talkie. "Well, no problem, we'll make a curiosity of it, and we 'll collect money for the children of the orphanage, who can't go to the circus because they have no money." They collect the money, the camel shits the walkie talkie out, happy end and everybody is laughing.
OK, STOP RIGHT THERE! DO THEY THINK I AM STUPID OR WHAT??? Here are the reasons why I have the feeling of not been taken seriously:
1) Why would adult persons like to play with walkietalkies? I mean, don't they have a job to do or something? Come on? How old are they? And who uses walkie talkies these days? Every nine year old has a mobile phone now. It isn't very credible, is it?
2) Second of all if a camel stands in front of your house, you don't feed it. You freak out and you call the cops or shoot it down, because it might attack your kids or your dog. You don't ask it in for dinner, now don't you? Come on, lets stay a bit realistic, okay?
3) They want to collect money for letting those poor orphans (boohoow...) go to the circus. Come on...they are orphans...buy them a playstation 2 or some laser guns. HELLO 21ST CENTURY!!! Or buy them guns or drugs to let them get used to their future life...
4) At the end everybody is laughing. WHY? There's nothing to laugh about. At the most something to be content of, because those orphans can go to a stupid local circus. (It's not even Cirque du Soleil) But they are laughing like they are a bunch of stoned junkies who just saw an old lady get struck by lightning, run over by a truck and finally pissed on by a dog.
5) AND FIFTH AND MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL IS THIS: Wow... a talking camel. How exciting and wonderful. Everybody's surprised and impressed... HELLO THERE'S A TALKING DOG IN A BASKET ASKING WETHER YOU LIKE THE MAMMAL! (he always pronounces everything wrong, so he means camel). Are they stupid or what to think that I would believe all of this?
Does those people really think that I'll go along with all this? I'm fed up with it. This program is an offense for my intelligence! I demand acknowledgement of my intillect...Stop these ridiculous programs.NOW!

Gay prejudices...

2005-10-03T11:10:00.000-07:00

I would like to clear up something concerning a comment I made. I said German sounds just like Dutch, but only Dutch sounds less gay. I don't want to say, that there's anything wrong with being gay! Like if Dutch would sound more gay than German, that would be totally fine by me, really! (But I am not gay)I was just making a neutral observation. I could easily have said: Germans pronounce their words very clearly and they have an excellent pronounciation, especially their s and z. And that just happens to be a characteristic of being gay. There are a lot of characteristics of gayness, but that doesn't always mean that the person in question is gay (but if he is...hey, GAY IS OKAY. Look at these examples concerning male gays:
- If I see a person dancing with his tanned, sweaty and naked chest on a truck with house music, that could be an indication of being gay! But it can also be a case of bad taste.
- If you want to become a hairstylist, a catholic priest or a nurse more than anything in the world, you are probably gay, but you could also be...eh...okay bad example
- If you keep on braking the law, just to get searched by those two hunky police officers and to get spanked by them, yep, you're gay. But you could also be...eh...eh...a sado-masochist... yes... yes...you see, you're not necessarily gay! But if you are, there's nothing wrong with that! (but I am not gay).
I feel a great sympathy for gay people and their silly, decadent life style. You don't believe me? I really do. I would even force all hot babes to be bisexual, yes that's right, you see... FREE STRAP-ONS FOR EVERYONE!!! Gays are just a bit misunderstood. And that's the fault of those conservative people, who always stick with their fixed preconceptions. Yes I am talking to you, you non-gay republicans. Even Terminator won't be able the stop the pink revolution!

Next time I wanna drink alcohol...

2005-10-01T03:15:00.000-07:00

Every Saturday morning the same old song. I'll never drink again. Why can't I just remember that for a week!!! I studied Latin, so I can even remember a zillion declensions, really look:drunkus, drunkum, drunki, drunko, drunko, drunke, and when we have two such idiots like me we get drunki, drunkos, drunkorum, drunkis, drunkis. And I always think that I will be smart enough to stop drinking, when I feel that I had enough... But, boy, I couldn't be more wrong. And you know the saying, when the wine is in, the wit is (waaaaaaaayyyyyy) out. Now I'm stuck with a nauseous feeling all day long. I'd like people to bring me the toilet, so that I could barf in it! If you see me drinking beer and wine, and I'm getting all mooshy and philosophic on you...stop me any way you can!!!

If you want to learn to play guitar read this and you'll sound like Clapton in no time!

2005-09-26T11:08:00.000-07:00

Some people are suffering from a midlife crisis, some want to impress chicks and others simply have too much time in their life. I could think of a thousand reasons why someone starts to play guitar. I on the other hand was simply gifted by God with this talent, and I couldn't let it - for sake of humanity - go to waste! So if you want some advice read on.
I started learning guitar five months ago. I can certainly recommend Zentao (cf. the link on this blog)! It is very detailed and for the absolute beginner! Personally I think the site is sometimes too much talking about theory, but you can easily skip it and learn especially the practical things. However I would advice not to do it in the first three, four lessons. And hey,what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger! I don't wanna make my own music, so theory isn't always (BUT SOMETIMES IT STILL IS) that important for me. I would also advise to search on other sites for learning things that aren't mentioned on the site or for additional information. The site is very detailed but not always very general minded. Just look at the other links on this blog. (guitarabout.com, cyberfret)
I can assure you that I have learned a lot In these five months : chords, scales, techniques like hammer, pull, bend and release, harmonics, arpeggio, vibrato, etc. It takes a while to get used to the feeling of holding and playing guitar, so there is a small "boring" period the first (two) month(s). But then you can start to play small riffs and some songs. Just don't get scared when you must learn to play your first chords (it seems a major undertaking, but with a bit of practice...). Look at me now, I'm playing better than a retarded monkey. Nah, just kidding, I'm becoming a real Hendrix, a Malmsteen...I just don't wanna make you guys feel like suckers when you try to play guitar...

European citizens, claim your rights for an own posting time indication!

2005-09-25T07:24:00.000-07:00

Floated by an irrisistible urge to participate in the exciting world of blogs, I decided to make such a thing too. People said that it's very informative and interesting, yes sometimes even a bit funny. But nobody said something about the discriminating and imperialistic aspect of the blog! You wonder yourself why I am saying this? We Europeans must face once again how those Americans control our lives. I post my first blog entry (as a test) and what do I see? I have posted it at 7.24 am. No offence, but I was heading for work at the time. So I couldn't have made that post, didn't I? What if my boss sees this? He could think that I didn't come to work that day and fire my ugly ass!
Why must I as a proud European citizen be forced to use imperialistic, capitalistic time indications. Like their time is the only right time indication. I demand my own Belgian time indication (yes, that's right I am chocolate maker, alright).I call on all Europeans to defend their rights and to demand, like myself, their own time indications on blogger.com, when they post a blog entry. The world could be a more wonderful place to live in. And in case it's necessary, we can and will cut you Americans off from our delicious chocolate and beer...

(ps: should there be a possibility for changing the time indication, please ignore this post and I can assure you that the chocolate is no longer in danger for you, my American friends!)