Bluesscale Soatn's first bluessong!

I think everybody will remember my first song ever? You know...that song that sounded like a spaghetti of carpentry sounds? Well, let's say that if nobody would mention that again, I would be eternally grateful. So shut your traps about that song. OKAY??? HEY I AM NOT KIDDING! REALLY!!! WHAT SONG??? I DON'T KNOW ANY SPANISH SOUNDING SONG!!!

Please judge this humble, novice blues guitarist with some fair and honest criticism! And I know that I made a couple of mistakes, but hey, cut me some slack, okay? And maybe people should know to that I only play guitar for about 9 months! And by the way listen to the rythm, pretty good, hey, and I am talking to "some people" who are accusing me from not being able to play in a steady rythm. I played the background guitar and recorded it (I invented the background shuffle myself). Then while listening I recorded my improvisation and mixed it (in only half an hour.) JUDGE ME!!!

Soatie Hendrix' Granny...

Soatie Hendrix is back after a month of blog silence with an exciting story:

Last Sunday I went to my grandmother. She lives in a retirement home. Oh boy, when we go there (once a year for the money with New Year) it's always a crazy adventure with loads and loads of breathtaking stories. It would take too long to tell the entire afternoon, so I am only gonna tell about the highlights.

When we entered the retirement home, I immediately saw that lots of these oldies know how to entertain people. When they saw we entered, they all started acting like they are retarded. Oh man, some of them were hilarious, they were drooling on themselves like. They looked with these staring eyes at us, like they could drop dead any second. Some even had shit their pants to let it look real. Man, if there's one thing I have learnt about old people, that afternoon, it is that they have a great sense for humour. I even found it a bit over the top sometimes...They were pushing it a bit, when they refused to stop the imitation (It was a bit disrespectful, I thought towards the retarded people) but what the hell, they are even more absurd than we youngsters, apparently! So I winked an eye to the oldies, to show my appreciation for their acting talents and their little comical act and continued my way to my grandmother's room.

We entered the room and saw our grandmother sitting there. She immediately came towards us and she allowed us - it was about to be our lucky day, I had felt it from the beginning - to kiss her on her cheeck. That's really fun! You have to make a game from it, man. The one who can kiss her without kissing that big, hairy wart on her cheek has to buy the other one a drink. Then she's always saying: "Are you,kids playing the 'Avoid-kissing-the-hairy-wart-game' again?" and she starts laughing "you crazy, kids"."Here's your New Year money, but only look at it at home how much it is!" Of course I looked at it immediately because I knew I was about to get 70 euros. I looked and like I said 65 euros...WHAT???? 65 EUROS???? My aunt had promissed I would get 70 euros when I gave her 10 euros for grandmother's present (And what to they buy for her? Underwear...What does she need underwear for? For shitting in it? We had better bought her some diapers, like all old people wear. But, I know granny, she's just to modern to wear diapers.) I synically laughed at my grandmother and said hesitatingly "Thank you". I DEMAND MY FREAKIN' 5 EUROS GODDAMMIT!!!! She's old, what to they need money for?

But after a while my anger was floating away, when I heard the exciting conversation between her and my dad.

Dad: "We always drank beer when we were playing cards!"
Granny: "No we weren't, we drank water, always water!"
Dad: "Really?"
Granny: "Of course, you idiot. But I like limonade now. But I can't drink it because of the sugar in my legs"
Dad: "Yes, mother"
Soatie Hendrix: "Oh granny, you're so hilarious...hahahaha...limonade...hihihihi"

And granny continued: "Hihihihihihi, yes, yes, I know. But you know what happened today?"
Soatie Hendrix, Dr. Angay and Dad: "NO?" with an excited voice.
Granny: "They gave us steak today!"
Soatie Hendrix: "So?" not understanding the clue.
Granny: "Oh, Soatie...you know Sunday is pork chop day, hihihihihi!"
Soatie Hendrix: "Oh, right, oh, granny, you gotta stop this, man...hahahahahahahaaaa...you're killing me...hahahahahahaa, so funny...hihihihi...it hurts....hihihi..."

And then she told us the exciting story about a mysterious woman called Maria.
Granny: "You know Maria?"
Soatie, Angay: "No"
Dad: "fifteen"
Granny: "fifteen what?"
Dad: "What do you mean fifteen? I said FIFteen!!!"
Soatie: "Oh shut your trap, dad, granny was telling an exciting story".
Dad:"No, FIFteen, not Spain, Soatie!"

I slapped him in the face and granny continued

Granny: "Well this Maria. She's dead of cancer. Yup, yup...only 92 years old. She had a café until 1972, then she retired. Oh no, no, I am lying, it was 1973! Yes, yes. And her brother was a carpenter. He died in 1987 als because of cancer. They say...Oh no, it was 1986...I remember because our guitargod Soatie was born in that year...They say God cursed their family, because they hadn't went to church in 1956 at christmas..."
Soatie: "Oh, man, that's a creepy story, granny! But...oh no, it's time to go home already, but can I blow the candles out from the chappel, please??? I am big enough now to do that, right?"
Granny: "Hmmm,...I don't know, it's a pretty big responsability, Soatie!"
Soatie: "Please!"
Granny: "Oh okay, but be careful"
Soatie: "Oh, you're the best granny in the world" (except for those 5 euros, cheap bitch)
I ran to the chappel, blew the candles out, and we left. At the exit were those same old, crazy funny oldies, imitating retarded people. "You guys rock, man" I said. "You should have been actors, well, see ya all next year!!!!"

Man, a retirement home really is the funniest place in the world! Boy I had the afternoon of my life!

AN OMEN!

A couple of days ago, I asked a fellow blogger, Patt who can draw like Da Vinci, to draw a picture of me with my guitar in a bluesy way. And you see the magnificant result above. But check out what I discovered. I went buying a cd like I do every week, but I bought the Jacques Brel dvd I was whining about the whole week. But I always want a cd too, so I looked around. And suddenly I thought about Django Reinhardt. I had seen him in a program about the 100 biggest Belgians ever (you know the thing about Jacques Brel, he ended seventh fucking hell, but he was very poorly defended by his godfather - that's how they call their defenders. Johan Verminnen, we will get even when I meet you goddammit ) So I bought a cd about Django Reinhardt. But then I thought about my cartoon. And you must admit; the resemblance is amazingly big. Now you should know that he's one of the biggest jazz guitarists ever. This must be an omen! I am about to be one of the biggest guitar players ever!

Patt, please draw me!

Patt, I am the brother of dr. Angay. I'm really impressed with your drawing skills. Could you draw me? I'm a blues fan, could you draw me as a blues artist, in the style you drew my brother. A bluesy atmosphere in a smokey bar would be great! Use your imagination!

I would be eternally grateful!

Soatn

Jacques Brel AMSTERDAM 1964

This song goes about the life of sailors in Amsterdam. It's an extremely beautiful text, because he really uses words ands terms which suit the common people...Jacques Brel for greatest Belgian.

Dans le port d'Amsterdam (In the harbor of Amsterdam)
Y a des marins qui chantent (There are sailors who sing)
Les rêves qui les hantent (The dreams that haunt them)
Au large d'Amsterdam (Through Amsterdam)
Dans le port d'Amsterdam (In the harbor of Amsterdam)
Y a des marins qui dorment (There are sailors who sleep)
Comme des oriflammes (Like streamers)
Le long des berges mornes (along the dull banks)

Dans le port d'Amsterdam (In the harbor of Amsterdam)
Y a des marins qui meurent (There are sailors who die)
Pleins de bière et de drames (full of beer and of dramas)
Aux premières lueurs (In the first gleams)
Mais dans le port d'Amsterdam (But in the harbor of Amsterdam)
Y a des marins qui naissent (There are sailors who are born)
Dans la chaleur épaisse (In the thick heat)
Des langueurs océanes (of the languishing oceans)
Dans le port d'Amsterdam (In the harbor of Amsterdam)
Y a des marins qui mangent (There are sailors who eat)
Sur des nappes trop blanches (On tablecloths too white)
Des poissons ruisselants (Streaming fishes)
Ils vous montrent des dents (They show you teeth)
A croquer la fortune (To crunch fortune)
A décroisser la lune (To cross the moon)
A bouffer des haubans (To eat main ropes)
Et ça sent la morue (And that smells like cod)
Jusque dans le coeur des frites (Until in the heart of the French fries)
Que leurs grosses mains invitent (That their big hands invite)
A revenir en plus (To return moreover)
Puis se lèvent en riant (Than gets up laughing)
Dans un bruit de tempête (In a noise of storm)
Referment leur braguette (Close again their fly)
Et sortent en rotant (And leave while turning)

Dans le port d'Amsterdam (In the harbor of Amsterdam)
Y a des marins qui dansent (There are sailors who dance)
En se frottant la panse (While rubbing himself the paunch)
Sur la panse des femmes (On the paunch of the women)
Et ils tournent et ils dansent (And they turn and they dance)
Comme des soleils crachés (Like spit suns)
Dans le son déchiré (In the torn sound)
D'un accordéon rance (Of a rancid accordeon)
Ils se tordent le cou (They twist the neck)
Pour mieux s'entendre rire (So they could better hear themselves laugh)
Jusqu'à ce que tout à coup (Until suddenly)
L'accordéon expire (The accordeon breaths his last breath)
Alors le geste grave (Than the serious gesture)
Alors le regard fier (Than the proud look)
Ils ramènent leur batave (They take their Batavian(= a dutch women or man))
Jusqu'en pleine lumière (In the bright light)

Dans le port d'Amsterdam (In the harbor of Amsterdam)
Y a des marins qui boivent (There are sailors who drink)
Et qui boivent et reboivent (And drink and drink again)
Et qui reboivent encore (And drink even more)
Ils boivent à la santé (They drink on their health)
Des putains d'Amsterdam (On the hookers of Amsterdam)
De Hambourg ou d'ailleurs (Of Hamburg or somewhere else)
Enfin ils boivent aux dames (Finally they drink on the ladies)
Qui leur donnent leur joli corps (Who give them their beautiful body)
Qui leur donnent leur vertu (Who give them their virtue)
Pour une pièce en or (For a piece of gold)
Et quand ils ont bien bu (And when they have drinked enough)
Se plantent le nez au ciel (They put their nose in the sky)
Se mouchent dans les étoiles (Rub their noses in the stars)
Et ils pissent comme je pleure (And they piss like I cry)
Sur les femmes infidèles (On the unfaithful women)

Dans le port d'Amsterdam (In the harbor of Amsterdam)
Dans le port d'Amsterdam. (In the harbor of Amsterdam)

My best friend!

I promised my best friend Ward to go to our school reunion at Saturday. We are like best friends but I broke my promise and now I am feeling like a complete jurk! The last couple of days I was sick (today it got even a bit worse again), so I am a bit exhausted. But I have to admit that I didn't felt like going neither, because I think/know some of my fellow students have become real elitist assholes. But not Ward, no siree. He didn't change. In class he would always fake that he gave me a blowjob, and then he would come up with his head, wiping the imaginal semen of his face, and then we saw the teacher looking at us, with this strange "WATH-THE-FUCK-ARE-YOU-GUYS-DOING-look" Or we would put pubic hair in peoples hair...Oh my god, that was really hilarious! We could laugh like little children when the teachers were reading a text where some words could be taken in a sexual manner. But at the end almost every word was taken sexually by us, so soon we were known as sexists. He was also my colleague socialist buddy, and in the third grade my hiphophomy (yes, that's right, during one year I was a hiphopper, now I know all music is wonderful). Boy, oh boy, we did some great stuff. He was my best friend in class during 4 years, we would always sleep together on school trips. Sometimes we really did sleep together in the same bed. It always began as an absurd joke, but then he insisted on sleeping in my bed. We had some good talks then. He is also a great soccer player. He's almost playing in the Premier League. That's Belgium's highest level. But I think he's still on the bench now of a Premier League team. But still...If you have ever seen me playing soccer, you would understand why I am so impressed. Yes, yes, that's my friend. And I dissed him like a bitch...I'am on a highway to hell. But I 'll make it up with him, with a beer next time I see him in a pub (we don't see eachother alot, because he's still studying). WARD I AM SO SORRY! People don't judge me, I had a bad childhood. Please tell me I am not a bad person...

Red Right Nose: Some people take themself too seriously!

WAAAAAAYYYY TOO SERIOUSLY
(no jokes about the right, I have got two noses)